An old drama queen
An old drama queen
30 - 10 - 2019.
She seemed heavy laden by a heap of countless sorrows and death inviting tales as she disorderly dragged her feet inside the spotless entrance of the restaurant. As old as she was, you would swear that she was seconds away from death, thanks to her scary thin as needle body whose bones made sounds of fighting skeletons as she walked.
She shut her eyes as the waiter wrote the order on a small docket book but without concealing his sight of shock. He wandered why and how would a ragged old woman could place such an intimidating order - not even his perplexed heart could answer. Having placed the order, he rushed to the bar, collected the drink and delivered it to her. “Thank you. Now leave my table!” she said, still refusing to get her eyes off the ceiling. In less than a minute, she had poured the six shots in her stomach and her eyes craved for more. She yawned relentlessly, dreamingly farted and fed the whole restaurant the taste of her stench. She asked for another round, the poor waiter was drowning in pity for the old woman, who seemed ready and willing to enter death through alcohol flight. His sympathetic eyes begged her to stop drinking but didn’t have the steel guts to tell her or make her stop. She killed the second round. She finally sat up uprightly and orderly, dreamingly gazed the shivering waiter and drummed a laughter that shook the walls and tables of the restaurant. The woman grabbed the menu and cuddled it on her chest. She lifted her almost fleshless white finger to the waiter and asked, “Give me your biggest T-Bone. Medium rare. With salad.” He wrote it down and quickly ran away from her. Few minutes later, the woman had become a lunatic. Thanks to the powers of drunkenness of gin, she found herself worming on the brown tiled floor, singing a senseless hymn and swimming in a river of her own vomit. She assumed she was entertaining people but in actual sense she was disgusting and boring them.
The manager rushed to the table and urged the woman to leave the restaurant after she had politely offered her free transport to go home but arrogance prevailed against her. While the manager tried to negotiate with her, the waiter brought the meal and hell broke loose. She snatched the hot plate from his circular black tray and smashed it on the floor. The T-Bone curled from the plate and hit the shining bold head of a customer sitting across the table - he wept like a widow who just lost his spouse, especially when he realised that he was bleeding. The woman fell rapidly on the floor and struggled to gain her balance again. The waiter tried to assist her to get up but a single hot slap landed on his face, then he joined her on the floor. Despite this scandalous drama, she never stopped making her mocking laughter.
Two gigantic security men came on the scene and lifted the woman on air and brought her outside the restaurant, far from the public’s eyes reach. She fainted in deep sleep. While they looked on, the woman’s daughter landed on the scene by a helicopter and took her mother away. She alleged that the woman was under demoralising stress because she had too much wealth and riches beyond human capacity.
By Blessing Mhlanga……………………………………………………………………………………………………
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